On Thursday night i was sitting alone watching tv as usual. These days i am addicted to News channels and finding it extremely hard to get out of it. These news channels have become increasingly stereotypes, one dimensional and very much commercial. Almost all the news readers are screaming in high pitch tone. Gossips have become news, sources have become officials these days...Quite funny
So i was so irrirated by these noise makers, sitting idle and trying to do something interesting. Suddenly i heard some music from my bedroom, remember i was sitting in the hall. Seems somebody was playing my guitar from my room. With cautions, i went to my bedroom and lost my breath when i found someone sitting in my bed and playing my guitar. Suddenly all the Hitchcock's movies and horror films came back to my mind and played a thriller in my heart. I tried my best to bring back my senses and trying to understand what is happening infront of me. A guy wearing a white shirt and some kind of black jersey must be in his early 30's who is fair and clean shaven sitting in my bed. I have no idea how he got into my bedroom. To be honest i had no idea what to do next. The guy was now looking at me and gave a smile. It was assuring and calm.
I tried to take control of the happenings and asked him "Who are you? What are you doing here?
He smiled at me again and said "I liked your guitar, its really a nice one, just needed some fine tuning".
I got irritated by this response and asked him once again "Who are you, first tell me"
He now starred at my eyes straightaway and said politely "Iam God"
I dont know how you would have reacted if you were in my shoes, but i thought it as a joke. May be this guy is a terrorist trying to hostage me to seek rampsom from the government or some thief trying to steal my valuable 12 years old poor guitar. Well, i have no idea. I have decided to find out who he really was, the only way to make sure if he is a god, i have to test his powers or knowledge stuff like that. So i have decided to ask him few questions about myself which no one knows (even i myself dont know or not sure about).
" If you are a God, can you tell me who is the first crush of my life?" , well it was very innocent of me to ask him such stupid question, i agree
He quietly said "i guess it was your maths tution master in your 8th standard, you were sitting with him in his terrace, looking at the dark sky and listening his descriptions about stars, you saw his hair falling over his eyes in the moonlight, you thought he is the most good looking guy"
Well at that moment i had no idea what to say, because every word this God said is true. Now watching the God closely. He looked beautiful but i cant say he was handsome because there was so much of feminine in him. He looked like kind of sissy. If God is gay, i guess he might be a bottom. Well, what he is doing here ? What he wants from me? is he gonna ask me to fuck him? i will say "no way dude, sorry mate you are not my type"
God was now staring at me too, he said " Vikki, you have grown up fast, i can still remembering you roaming around with your trousers when you were 4 years old, asking your grandma to tell you the bible stories, you have grown up as a handsome boy today"
Well, i was little embarassed now, i never felt awkward for a compliment, but getting it from God is something different, right? Now i feel bit relaxed after the initial tensions of meeting God, my mind started thinking, suddenly all my angers i have kept down under my heart for being born as Gay and couldnt live a normal straight guy arised. I was even furious then on God for making me a Gay and let me suffer in the straight world. I wanted to ask him all those fierce questions and ask him for justice. May be i should use this opportunity to let him turn me as Straight guy, find a girl and marry.
" I believe you are the God, but tell me why you made me as Gay? Why you are letting me suffer everyday? Why are you so partial on me when all other guys are straight and living happily?" i asked him in anger.
God suddenly went silent, i guess he was going to say that 'its my karma' or something like that.
God said "well, what happened to you today, i thought you dont believe in these partiality of sexual differences, you know that its just a matter of choice. male/female, gay/straight, top/bottom, hindu/muslim all these things are man made one. you cant blame me for this. you guys created it, suffering now"
I was even more frustrated now "you cannot just wash your hands, you have the power to change things"
God said "well, how many things you wanted me to change, millions? you have no idea how many prayers i have to answer everyday, i have tremendous pressure these days"
It was funny to hear about work pressure from God, who would have thought that even God is feeling pressure.
"so you dont have answers or solution to solve my problem, i have to be gay all my life and live alone, isnt it?" i asked God
God now was smiling at me and said "well, i gave you plenty of chances to find your love, but you missed them, its your fault"
"oh yeah, i know it, but is that the way my life is going to be, do i have to suffer ? cant i live normal like straight " i was a bit frustrated now
"well, you know that you cant be straight now, but you can find your love if you really wanted to" God replied me
"i dont know if he really exist, how can i find him" i asked him again
God said "i will continue to give you opportunities, there are guys out there who likes you, its upto you to get them"
"fine, so you are not going to help me anything, why did you come here?" i asked him irated
"i came here to see one of my beloved boy, i came here to let you spread my message to all your gay friends" God told me
"Well, you are trying to use me, just like you have used Jesus and Buddha, well, im not a dumb like them, why should i do it, what do i gain"
God said "i know you will do it, thats what you are , dumb" he said with a smile I smiled at him now, he was so smart and its hard to win him.
He continued to talk now "Vikki, i know that you are not comfortable about what you are, but you are a strong boy and know what you are doing. Dont put yourself down, dont feel bad about being gay or bisexual or bottom or top or whatever, you cant change it, but what you can change is your mindset, you can find ways to live happily, you can find ways to achieve your ambitions, you can find ways to be successful, you are blaming me for making you Gay, if you think its a weakness, remember i have given you plenty of strengths that a straight guys dont have, i have given you writing skills, i have given you talent to understand people, i have given you ability to get out of any trouble, i have given you experience to be successful, just find what you can do to be successful, what you can do to make your life more successful and do it, just believe in what you are doing, never have second thoughts, keep working"
I asked him " so, are you going to tell me the message to let my friends know?"
God calmly said "i already told you the message" and he disappeared.
Do you think God is great?