At SIAAP, We came across a very disturbing article published in Dinamalar,Vaaramalar last Sunday, 14th November 2010 in the column Anbudan Antharangam - Sakunthala Gopinath. This column is a platform to get advice or suggestions for personal and intimate issues and problems. Last Sunday in this column a 28 year old closeted gay man shared his concern about straight marriage because his family is planning to get him married. The person seemed to be sure about his sexual preference. The reply of the columnist Sakunthala Gopinath was unethical, homophobic, amoral, malapropos and discriminating. Sakunthala in the most disgusted way has mentioned that his writing depicts that he is an effeminate man who prefers to be lonely. Further more she has pointed out 8 reasons why he is gay.
Please find the below link to the article.
Here is the English translation of the full exchange :
I have finished college and now working in a private company. I am a homosexual male. From very young age, I am not attracted to women, I am only attracted to men. In those days, when I was with my friends, I was never interested in watching porn with them.
They all watched straight pornography, which didn't interest me. They don't show men enough on those movies, they show women.
I later went on the Internet and came to know about being Gay. I used to go to the Internet Cafe every week and watch gay porn and chat with other gay men. I have also met and had sexual encounters with 20 men so far. My friends and family doesn't know that I am gay. I am so afraid of letting them know, if they come to know about me, I would kill myself. My parents are currently seeking alliances for my marriage. I don't want to get married, I will feel awfully guilty. In western countries, same-sex couples get married, have kids and live together. Our culture and our people doesnt accept all that. I am not sure what to do. Please consider me as your friend and help me out.
I read your letter. I guess you are close to 28 years old. You work for a private company. You are a loner. Your handwriting is quite feminine. I think one of the following is the reason why you are a homosexual
1. Homosexuality is a genetic disorder
2. Your mother is dead and you were raised by a strict father (or) your father is dead and you were raised by a selfish mother (or) you are younger to 3-4 sisters . You have been exposed at a very young age to lot of women nudity, mostly ugly ones. You got repelled by that without proper understanding.
3. You have bad friends who engage in homosexuality and talk about it
4. You are irrationally angry towards the world and the society. You just want to contradict, and be rebellious, for the sake of it
5. You are a half-baked atheist, who doesn't believe in god. No religion in the world approves homosexuality
6. You have a wrong scientific mentality that leads you to think that you know everything
7. You were raised by an evil step mother who ill treated you
8. You are a trouble maker , anti-social
I completely detest homosexuals. We are all created to lead a life in tune with Nature. Man - Woman relationship is like a relay race, it leads humanity to the future generations. It is not just for sex, but it is very important for the unit called family. We all eat with our mouth, for a change can we try eating with something else? Is that even possible? No.
Male and female babies are born in the ration of 1:1. Monogamous heterosexual relationship is God's unwritten law for humans.
A woman is like a flower and a man is like the bee. A bee can feed on the flower, a flower cant feed on the bee . Also a bee cant feed on another bee. It is the Man- Woman relationship that inspires life, art, literature and poetry. In your letter you have mentioned that men marry men, have babies and live together. A man can't make babies with another man, that is not scientifically possible. May be they can adopt, but let me tell you, kids raised by same-sex couples will end up as criminals or mentally retarded.
I will offer you advice for a good life. Will you listen to me, Son?
You mention that you are not sexually attracted to women. That is not the real truth, you are confused. You are blinded. Clear the fog and try to see things more clearly. You will see the reality. Don't spend your time on the internet, pray to god and become spiritual.
If you parents look for a match for you, don't say No. Let them. Try to find a manly-looking girl like actress Tabu.
I know many homosexuals who have changed from their evil ways, got married, returned to morality and live peacefully and happily.
Don't let your mind wander into evil ways, come back, come home to god. Homosexuality will gift you AIDS. Do you want to live as HIV-AIDS infected person for the rest of your life?
Read works that celebrate women and femininity. If you have only met bad and evil women so far in your life, don't conclude that you don't like women. Try to mix with the good ones.
Get married, have kids and live happily.
- Always motherly,
We as a collective crowd of LGBTQ and LGBTQ supporters from NGOs,CBOs and other groups should request Dinamalar to publish a corrigendum and an apology letter.
If you would like to mail, email or fax Dinamalar please find the below contact information
219, Anna Salai,
Chennai – 600002
Fax : 044 28523695
e-mail – firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S: Thanks to SIAAP, Orinam.net and others to bring this to our notice. Special thanks to Gabriel and Shridhar for the english translation