Written by : Deep header
I happened to meet this so called psychologist who supposed to fix me from my gayness. He asked so many questions and concluded by asking “Are you longing for something?” ”Do you find meaning in your life?”
For a moment I got perplexed. I thought I have been answering very well for all the questions that he asked. But I could figure out only later that the questions got hidden meaning and you can’t just answer it out of your brain.
The beautiful part is, the psychologist never tried to fix me instead he showed me what I am and where I should be heading towards…
If we introspect deeply, most of our questions will be like this...
Where is my Mr. Right?
What is the meaning of my life?
Am I sleeping with someone whom I actually suppose to sleep with?
Am I shallow?
Even though I accept myself as 100% hall marked gay, I still face and struggle with the above questions in my life all the time. Can’t there be any solutions? How come everyone around the world handle this so called problem of “EMPTINESS”?
I remember the exercise suggested by the psychologist. Close your eyes and imagine the following scenes.
“I receive a call from my manager and he asks me to go home immediately saying there is someone who is close to me passed away without mentioning who is that. I rush to the house and find all my close relatives mourning and weeping. My relatives and friends are crying out to the heavens. The coffin is beautifully decorated, ready to be taken to the church. I do see my mom and dad, brothers and sister… I ask everyone who is dead? No one seems to answer me and hear me. All are crying their heart out. I go near the death bed and remove the cloth. I am astonished for a moment…I am dead,
The body is taken to the church and the mass is solemnly celebrated. Everyone in my family are asked to say few words about me…They called my mom first…and then my dad….followed by my brothers and sisters…my straight and gay friends…my relatives…
What would you want them to say about you? What kind of achievement and contributions you would want them to remember? What impact have you made in their life that you want them to talk about? ”
The exercise ends here but the impact of it remains in me forever.
In my death I started to find the meaning of my life.
If you have taken this meditation seriously…by now you could have found the meaning of your gay life. It is easier to write tons of concepts than to leave everyone with useful exercise.
Written by : Deep header
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