MOTHER & FATHER : " I AM GAY "

The Pain, the stress, the torture & the guilt,

Shame and stigma which my world built

I’ve struggled since the day, I thought it as a crime,

I came out before, this is not the first time

But now I came out once again,

Feeling free without any strain

It took twenty one years to unmask myself, 

The old mask I worn now out of my shelf

The awful lies and continuous deception,

But the time has come to feel the inception

All along holding my hands showing the light,

Cheering me to face the fight

Words are not enough to feel the freedom,

Thanks to you dear for passing the wisdom

Before you judge me hold on to this thought:
I am still the same person; it is not my fault
I have come to accept who I am today
Please do the same mother, father; I am gay.

written by,

RUPESH REDDY

Dawning of a new age

Written by Vikki

One of my straight friend recently asked me “Why do you guys need a gay pride, when we are not parading on the street announcing about our heterosexuality?”.  I could have replied him we don’t follow the so-called social norms defined by the majority of you people. Instead I took him to one of my favorite beach Besant nagar, there were plenty of heterosexuals doing all sort of romantic things openly, submerged in their erotic activities. Hesitant to disturb their privacy, me and my friend took a place somewhere behind and sat. Now I asked my friend “How many of these people you think are straight people”. He looked at me puzzled, but answered “I think almost most of them are”. I continued “See, they have an open space to showcase their heterosexuality without any disturbance and with social acceptance, not just in the beach, they are doing it through marriage institution or proposing to the opposite sex without any shame or fear. But unfortunately we are not that fortunate people, we don’t have a safe space or social tolerance to announce our sexuality, fearing on social stigma we are remaining in the closet. Pride march is the only time most of us together without any fear can announce our sexuality and celebrate for who we are”.

I am not sure whether my friend agreed to my point, but he came and took part in the last year pride march. Since first Pride in 2009, we have come a long way.  The number of gay and bisexual men participating in the pride march had increased tremendously. We are seeing some lesbian and bisexual women become actively involved or participating in Pride celebrations. Though Trans men are yet to be a part of the march except one or two. As usual our trans sisters are loud and proud, they have been our front runners, leading the way, holding the rainbow flag, posing for cameras, they are not going to give up the fight.

Few weeks before at Pride Press meet, a media person asked me “Why are you doing the pride celebrations in June”. Suddenly all that stories I have read and heard about Stonewall riots rushed into my mind. I was silent for awhile, thankfully Kalki interrupted and answered to that question. Long time back one of the guys who participated in the Stonewall riots said in an interview that “Everyone in the crowd felt that we were never going to go back. It was like the last straw. It was time to reclaim something that had always been taken from us.... All kinds of people, all different reasons, but mostly it was total outrage, anger, sorrow, everything combined, and everything just kind of ran its course. It was the police who were doing most of the destruction. We were really trying to get back in and break free. There was something in the air, freedom a long time overdue, and we're going to fight for it. It took different forms, but the bottom line was, we weren't going to go away. And we didn't”.

In 2009 when I started organizing gay parties along with my friends Srivath, Senthil, Teja and Gabriel under the banner of Chennai Dost, many criticized. And there were plenty of criticism and obstructers within and outside the community which continue to exist until now. They attacked us on several grounds western import, commercialization, cultural evil, party freaks, not being inclusive etc. But we silently organized our events regularly, we have focused on our objectives and strategies, we have avoided answering to them since many of them would have found the answers by now. In September 2009, the first gay party under a group banner was organized which has seen more than 100 turn-outs. Our logic was simple and straight ‘Gay people love to party’. But we have made sure there were interactions in all our parties. These parties connected people without any class, caste, religion, preferences, area or education. Everybody participated. What we have witnessed in the Chennai Queer Film Festival in terms of turn-outs of GB men is one of the out come of the gay parties in the city in the last 3 years.

3 years before It wasn’t easy connecting with other gay and bisexual men and bringing them to our events. They were very hesitant. Most of them feared that they might be exposed or extorted or raped. We had to repeatedly talk to them and build that confidence. Fortunately for me and my 4 friends we had a pretty long friends list, we built a wide network location wise, class wise etc. We organized hang-outs, meet-ups, movie screenings regularly to connect the scattered, invisible GB community. We have utilized all the gay meeting spots both online and offline including Planet Romeo, Yahoo Chat, Emaling lists, Facebook, Cruising spots and some house parties.

People like me who may have worked in a short span are tired now because of the continuous criticism and obstucles, some of us have already stayed away from the community work and focused on their personal life. Even I wanted to go back to my hometown and live quietly with my boyfriend. We wanted young leaders who are confident and vibrant. Hence we are trying to establish our presence at Colleges and Universities. Our strategists are working hard to make things happen. Presence of many youths in our group gave us the energy and confidence on most occasions. They don’t fear unlike us. They wanted their voices to be heard loud and clear. Most of them I meet are confident about their sexuality. We are sending them to other cities like Bangalore, Mumbai and Thrissur to take a look at the pride marches and local communities. They are learning, they are going to be the next leaders and activists of this community. Their confidence is building day by day.

 Recently I was fortunate enough to watch a movie called “More than a friend” directed by Debalina. This movie is about a lesbian couple and their life. It was beautifully filmed; almost all of us who were watching the movie in the review panel went into tears. What was so touching is that there was a lesbian girl among our panel, who literally lost her words after watching the movie. It isn’t easy being women in India; they were the most suppressed and degraded by the society. I don’t think life is going to be easier for lesbian women either; in fact it is going to be even more difficult. That’s why we have heard so many suicide stories of lesbian women in India. Queer women movement has a long way to go and they need a strong leader for sure especially in Chennai. I hope they will have all the courage in the world to stand up for their rights and form a community of their own.

We have come a long way, participation in the Pride marches and celebrations from Community groups have been increasing. There were many NGOs actively involved in Pride 2009, now we are witnessing plenty of Community groups and individuals playing active role. And they are not going to stop. They are going to fight till the end.

When we suggested demanding for inclusion of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans men in the Welfare board and activating the existing Transgender Welfare Board as Sexual Minorities Welfare Board in one of the Pride Planning meet, many were not convinced. Some of them even asked us that there is no need to include Bisexual issues into the welfare board. Ramki, Shiva and others arranged for a meeting with few Transgender leaders to get their opinion for the inclusion. Finally we have managed to speak to them and included the demand in the Press release draft. I was glad for their understanding and support on LGB issues. Fortunately we have also received updates on Planning Commission and National Youth Policy which will trigger LGBT movement in the upcoming years.

There were few agitations and frustrations on the community; I have read one article where one writer mentioned the reasons for his non-participance in the upcoming pride. Perceptions differ. Though we cannot force anyone to participate in the Pride, but one or two groups and individuals cannot be put as a bad example. There were plenty of open minded friends and groups waiting to receive him. I felt sad that he didn’t think about them when he wrote it, who loved him no matter what happened. But Pride is not just for the community or unity, it is to celebrate one’s sexuality. Announcing the world that we are proud of being Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual or Transgender.

As many other Pride march, I hope this pride will bring many changes. Changes in many people lives. Of course I am going to be there, shouting and dancing around with our boys and girls, just like the way I did in 2009.

Believe it or not !

Not just one...

Two party kings joining hands together for the first time.

CHENNAI DOST + BOYSZONE

 gives you space to go crazy and party 

"RAINBOW NITE"

 on 24th June, Sunday (8pm onwards)

The biggest party ever...

DJ Lathish spinning the best of music!!

Entry Fee: 300/-

Venue: Speed Lounge, Nungambakkam

Sometimes you you gotta pay for things that are priceless

All are welcome to celebrate PRIDE! 

Bring your ring of friends and have a rainbow time

For directions call : 9381444948, 9551630213

"Colours of Sexuality"- Chennai Queer Film Festival 2012 (Press Release in The Hindu)

Film fest kicks off gay pride month

It may take a few minutes for the name Santhi Soundarajan to ring a bell in many minds. The athlete lost her 2006 Asian Games silver medal after failing a gender test which reported that “she did not have female characteristics.” A film ‘Y can't I run' screened at the Chennai Queer Film Festival traces her frustration and the seclusion she went through after the disclosure. “They consider me a cheat. But I still maintain that I am a woman. A gender test cannot take that away from me,” she says in the short film.

Several such films that highlight the concerns of sexual minorities will be screened as part of the festival that marks the launch of gay pride month in the city. The film festival is being held at the Goethe Institut in the city. Orinam, that provides online and offline space for the LGBT community, and Chennai Dost, are among its organisers.

“The 3-day film festival is called ‘colours of sexuality' because there are varied hues of sexuality that people don't know about. It is not just about gays and lesbians, but many more, for instance bisexuals, transgenders, female-to-male transgenders, and many more,” says Dev, director, Chennai Dost.

The movement is also a reminder of the 1969 Stonewall riots in the United States, widely considered the beginning of the LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual transgender) movement. “The demonstrations are frequently cited as the first instance when people in the homosexual community fought back injustice against sexual minorities. Since then, June has always been a month of pride for us,” says Rupesh, a volunteer with Chennai Dost. As part of the celebrations, an art exhibition at the Max Mueller Bhavan displays nearly 100 photographs depicting moments and expressions most significant to the LGBT community.

Nearly 12 NGOs that work with sexual minorities have come together to hold a series of activities to spread awareness about the LGBT community and sensitise the society to their needs. A panel discussion on Saturday will look into what parents and family of people with different sexual preferences go through and how they can be counselled. The Chennai Rainbow Coalition that has various LGBT groups under one banner will undertake the pride rally, cultural activities and other events this month.

While actual numbers are not known, experts in the field say that there is a considerable number of people with alternate sexual preferences in the city. “Every group has nearly 2,000 members. We want people living in the closet to know that we are there for them,” says Mr. Dev. Chennai, he says, is more tolerant than Bangalore or Mumbai, and is quite accepting of the community. “The children and youth are quite understanding. But we have a long way to go,” he says.

Check the link:-

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/tp-tamilnadu/article3534769.ece

Colours of Sexuality: Chennai Queer Film Festival 2012 - Online brochure

Check this below link for the online brochure of Colours of Sexuality: Chennai Queer Film Festival on June 15 - 17 at Goethe Institut, Nungabkkam for Program Schedule, List of Movies etc...

http://issuu.com/arunbandhu/docs/colours_of_sexuality

Chennai Rainbow Pride 2012 - Placard / Poster Making Session

Hi Friends,

We Cordially invite you to join us for poster/placard making session on 9th june at 3pm

venue:Chennai Dost office

For Directions call : +91 9551630213

Chennai Rainbow Pride 2012

Chennai Rainbow Pride 2012 will be held at Elliott's beach, besant nagar on June

24th with plenty of music and celebration...Yes, it is time to celebrate our 

sexuality...

Chennai Rainbow Pride 2012

Pride Press Release - Demands from Chennai LGBT Community 2012

- We  call upon the Supreme Court to uphold the historic Naz Foundation verdict of July 2, 2009, that read down IPC Section 377 to exclude  consensual relationships among adults of the same sex. We urgently need the Supreme Court to secure the fundamental rights of india's lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender citizens to lives of dignity, equality, and free expression.

- We heartily commend the Planning Commission, Government of India, for recommending inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in its approach to health care, social equity and reach to discriminated groups in the upcoming 12th national five-year plan.  We ask that these plans translate into tangible results  such as inclusion of sexuality and gender issues in medical and other educational curricula, in stringent anti-discrimination laws, and in all relevant social welfare programmes.

- We appreciate the Ministry of Youth Affairs and Sports, Government of India, for its draft National Youth Policy 2012 that proposes interventions to counter stigma faced by LGBT youth, a timely and much-needed move.

- We request the Tamil Nadu Government to continue and build on the work of the Aravani Welfare Board, which remains a unique initiative for transwomen in the country, and to expand its scope to include sexual minorities who face harassment and discrimination because of their gender identity,  gender expression and/or sexual orientation.

- We mourn the loss of activist Mariya/Anil in Kerala and countless other LGBT people in the country, and call for an immediate end to the epidemic of violence and discrimination perpetrated by individuals and institutions such as the police, judiciary, and families against LGBT persons  and others marginalized on grounds of sexuality. We express grave concern at the escalation of arrests of sexual minorities and sex workers in Chennai over the past year.

- We seek affordable and appropriate healthcare for all, and condemn unscientific and unethical attempts by some in the medical and mental health professions to change sexual orientation through drugs,electro-shock therapy, and other means. We draw attention to the urgent need for professional and peer-led psychosocial support services and safe spaces to help our communities cope with the stress of living in a society that is largely hostile towards alternate sexuality and gender expression

- We ask that our families value our desires as natural and normal,allow us the freedom to choose our expression in terms of attire, romantic and life partners, and not to force us into heterosexual marriages against our wishes.

- We appeal to educational institutions and policy makers to provide non-discriminatory environments for LGBT students, and penalize bullying, ragging, and sexual harassment regardless of the students' sexual orientation, gender or gender-identity.

- We exhort the media to be fair, inclusive and responsible in telling our stories; and not invisibilize or trivialize us and our issues. We urge the film industry in India to stop perpetuating stereotypes and depicting caricatures of our lives.

-  We appeal to businesses in the private and public sector to ensure equality in the workplace in terms of policies, benefits and workplace climate and include sexual orientation and gender identity issues in diversity training for staff

- We thank all those who have been supportive to our struggles - people from other social movements; parents who have been exemplary in their expression of love and acceptance; teachers who have been caring and supportive; health-care professionals who have refused to stigmatize us; celebrities who have expressed their solidarity openly; all the lawyers who aid our work; and journalists who have been sensitive and just;  to mention a few.

Chennai Rainbow Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Pride 2012

“Can love be shackled?” - Thiruvalluvar

Chennai hosts its fourth annual Rainbow Pride in June 2012, a month celebrating visibility of

alternate sexualities and gender identities.  In India, the first Rainbow Pride March took place

in Kolkata in 1999, and currently Pride is celebrated in nine cities and towns of India:

Bengaluru, Bhubaneswar, Chennai, Coimbatore, Delhi, Kolkata, Mumbai, Pune and Thrissur.

Several formal and informal collectives have joined hands to organize a month-long series of 

events in Chennai this June. These include a panel discussion on parents and their LGBT 

children; a cultural festival; a three-day film series,  performances in memory of LGBT 

people who have lost their lives, and poster and placard-making sessions. The Chennai 

Rainbow Pride march will be held on June 24th, 2012

CHENNAI: Recently, transgender activist Anil Sadanandan, also known as Mariya, was murdered in Kerala. Fellow activists say it was a hate crime. Two years ago, trans-woman Sowmiya from Chennai committed suicide. Unable to complete her education, she had turned to sex work and begging to eke out a living and was dependent on alcohol. 

Short documentaries on the lives of Sowmiya and Mariya will be screened at Colors of Sexuality: Chennai Queer Film Festival 2012 to be held from June 1 to 17. The festival is part of the Pride Month celebrations to be organised byChennai Rainbow Coalition, a collective of groups that work for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community. This is the fourth year Chennai is hosting Pride Month, which is celebrated across the world to commemorate the anniversary of Stonewall riots of 1969, when the LGBT community members in New York fought police harassment. 

"Films help us take our concerns to a wider audience," said Kalki Subramaniam, founder, Sahodari Foundation, which works for the transgender community, at a press meet on Friday. "I had spent time with Sowmiya and Mariya and had video footage of them. So I thought of making films on their lives." 

Around 23 Indian films in Hindi, Tamil, Marathi and Bengali will be screened at the fest, said L Ramakrishnan, a volunteer with Orinam, which is organising it with Chennai Dost and Goethe-Institut/Max Mueller Bhavan. 'Logging out', made by a teenage boy using a handheld camera, is about the perils and pleasures of online dating. "One of the most moving films is 'More Than A Friend' by Debalina Majumder, who is from an organisation for lesbian and bisexual women and trans-people," said Vikranth Prasanna, founder, Chennai Dost. 

The struggles underline the importance of legal support, said the activists. "We urge the Supreme Court to uphold the historic Naz Foundation verdict of July 2, 2009 that read down section 377 of the IPC," said Ramakrishnan. The Delhi high court ruling, which decriminalised homosexuality, is being challenged in the SC by various organisations. "We need the SC to secure the rights of India's LGBT citizens so they could live with dignity." 

The Chennai Rainbow pride march will be held on June 24. Other events include photo and art exhibitions, panel discussion on family acceptance of LGBT youth and the release of 'Thirunangai', a Tamil magazine.

Courtesy: Times of India

Join our Rainbow Group Dance practice session on May 20th

Do you love to express?
Do you long to dance but waiting for the right time?
Here we go, Join our Rainbow Group Dance practice session to perform in Flash mob and Cultural Dance program for the Fourth Chennai Rainbow Pride
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenders are all invited
Practice session starts on May 20th
For details contact: 95516 30213

Cheers
ChemistryClub Chennai
www.facebook.com/chemistryclub

INTERNATIONAL DAY AGAINST HOMOPHOBIA/TRANSPHOBIA -A Candle Light Vigil

As Saadi Shirazi said,

"Human beings are all members of one body. 
They are created from the same essence. 
When one member is in pain, 
The others cannot rest. 
If you do not care about the pain of others, 
You are not worthy of being called a human." 

Homosexuality is found in 450 species and homophobia is found in just one, humans. Its hightime we open our hearts and accept people for what they are, and help them to stop living a lie.

Chennai Dost invites you to join hands for “Stop Homophobia/Transphobia” - a Candlelight Vigil on May 17th, International Day against Homophobia/ Transphobia . Irrespective of gender, sexuality and other differences, let us all unite to celebrate the diversity and put an end to the inhumane act– Homophobia / Transphobia.  Let the light we hold, bring an end to the darkness that dwell in many hearts and parts of our society. 

This is an effort of Chennai Dost, to increase the awareness on alternate sexuality & gender issues and to develop a better tomorrow in which no individual is discriminated or humiliated of one’s gender or sexuality. Let us try and build a society in which no one is forced to hide behind a mask and let everyone live with the dignity of who they are. 

Come let’s all get united and show our solidarity to STOP HOMOPHOBIA / TRANSPHOBIA.

VENUE: Opposite Chennai Press Club.

DATE: May 17^th.

TIME: 6 pm.

"COLOURS OF SEXUALITY" : Call for film submissions

Chennai has been organizing LGBT film screenings since 2004, including
film festivals in 2004, 2005 and 2006. Local groups have also
regularly organized film screenings both during Pride month and at
other times of the year.

This year, we are pleased to bring you Colours of Sexuality: Chennai
Queer Film Festival 2012, a collaborative effort between local
collectives Chennai Dost and Orinam, in partnership with Goethe
Institut/ Max Mueller Bhavan.

The festival will be held on three evenings from June 15-17, 2012, and
will showcase Indian and international feature films, shorts and
documentaries. There will also be a photography/art exhibit at the
venue, and a panel discussion on June 16 on the topic of acceptance of
LGBT youth by their families.

We invite entries of feature-length films, shorts and documentaries
for screening at the event. Entries will be reviewed by a panel, and
selections notified by 30 May 2012.

If you are interested in having your work considered for this
festival, please contact chennaiqueerfilmfest@gmail.com.

Visit http://chennaiqueerfilmfest.blogspot.in/  for updates.

"COLOURS OF SEXUALITY" : Call for photographs and art entries for exhibition

As part of Chennai Queer Film Festival June 15-17 2012,  local
collectives Chennai Dost and Orinam are conducting a photography and
art exhibition in partnership with Goethe Institute/ Max Mueller
Bhavan.

We invite you to send photographs or art work on the theme 'Colours of
Sexuality', encompassing issues of alternate sexual orientation and
gender identity.

- All photographs and images submitted must be original and digital.
- All images must be of size 5 MB or smaller with a resolution at
least 1,600 pixels.
- Last date for the submission of photographs is 30 May 2012.

Entries may also be displayed at other events during Pride month.

Please mail your entries to art.chennaidost@gmail.com

Few drops of the ocean

As I believe in Mahatma Gandhi who said “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”

When the tamil world was crying for the demise of a 80 years old ‘Paati’ in Vijay tv’s ‘Saravanan-Meenakshi’, I was watching the news of Sri lankan tamils being stripped naked and getting killed in short range by Sri Lankan army. At the same time my friend was busy fishing for his prey in Planet Romeo, the hot guy who pinged him sent pictures of all his body parts, I donno if he excluded his armpits etc. Sorry I couldn’t peek long to give you more details about the body pictures of the hot guy (which obviously you will be interested to know).

Recently some of my friends paid a short visit to Nungambakkam by 11pm. don’t ask me what they were doing at that time. Probably they wanted to measure the length of the high road. But unfortunately Police patrol interrupted them, they mistook my gay friends cruising for transgender. They provided some valuable advice about AIDS, Indian culture etc and then let them go after getting Rs.1000 from them. This reminded me about the Supreme court hearings on section 377 case, the Indian government stated that they don’t want to oppose the High court judgement since it helped them to work on AIDS prevention. Of course the government care about our lives, but they are not going to give a shit about our civil rights. According to them our only civil right is to vote for them once in every 5 years.

There is this pub in Chennai opened recently; we don’t know their real motive to open up such a pub. But I heard it has become a gay heaven lately. There are two types of groups, one the so called heterosexuals who come here expecting some gay friends for a short term relief in the pub rest room and then the stereotypes who become straight acting queens back home wanting to dance to any horrible tunes and get some fresh meat (they don’t believe in types) after the party. Last week there were nearly 3 gay parties in town and my phone kept ringing inviting me for their parties. Frustrated, I told one of the organizers that I am bed sick and I couldn’t get out of the house. The guy asked me to send my boyfriend instead (for him I am just a party ticket, my health is an unnecessary news for him). Honestly I didn’t think that I would become a victim of all this when I introduced the gay party trend in the city 3 years before.

Before I fell sick, I witnessed a gay party. Gay scene in Chennai has changed. But the class difference still prevails. Everybody wanted to showcase glamour, money, costume and whatever they could to attract someone hot. The moment some new hottie arrives in a party, you can watch that fake arrogant faces, attitude behavior from the queens desperate for that fresh meat. Nobody spoke about Supreme court case neither anyone seems to be worried about Srilankan tamils. There is this new guy from Coimbatore who seems to be picking up people randomly; he didn’t even bother to enter the dance floor. All night he stood by the window trying to pick up whoever he could. Thanks to the organizers hospitality who have provided plenty of dark rooms for the participants facility. I felt ashamed of fighting for their civil rights. I tried my level best to find a safe room to sleep myself off, but got disappointed because of the pre-occupancies of the party lovers with their multiple partners of that night.

On the other day some of the activists protested against the Chennai Pride planning meet citing the reasons that transgender community is going through Police harassment and it is not right time for celebration in the city now. As I mentioned I was in sick bed for a week, just to take some rest I went back home, meet my family and have some home made food. I travelled in a local train where a bunch of transgender got in and started their ‘thanda’ (which means asking for money). One transgender grabbed a man’s crotch who refused to give them money impolitely. Another day a bunch transgender had beaten a man who refused to give them money after sex work. As I have been labeled as transphobic, I started seriously thinking about the current scenario. Unless until all these activists work on empowerment, education and employment opportunities to transgender community it would be difficult to eradicate sex work and police harassment. I hope some people stop working on making self glory, cheap media publicity etc and focus on the real issues. There is no point in justifying sex work. The kind of mental and physical stress that these transgender need to go through because of sex work is huge. I don’t know if anyone seems to be care about it.

Just to get some peace of mind, I went through my mails and Facebook profile. There were full of drama queens screams trying to suppress their anger towards their own life, celebrity closeted queens photographs with their fag hags, some teenage queens displaying their face-pictures in various poses awaiting for cute comments from their beloved fans, activists and NGOs trying to pull each others mistakes and making ‘I know it all’ statements. I shut my PC off and also my mind.

I received a call last night from an anonymous caller. He is 19 years old, scared about his homosexuality. He fallen in love with his straight friend, who had no clue about his homosexual tendencies or feelings. When his feelings towards his straight friend became unbearable, one night he expressed his desire by keeping his hands on his straight friend’s sexual organ. Though his straight friend responded positively that night, next morning the situation changed. His friend stopped talking to him and made homophobic comments at the college. I just had to comfort the 19 year old guy and told him his feelings are normal and there is nothing to be scared of. I asked him to come to attend one of our Social meet-ups.

We are waiting for Supreme court judgment on section 377. We don’t know how the judgment is going to be and how it is going to reflect or impact in our day to day lives. We don’t know if the new state government rehabitate transgender community rather than treating them as criminals. But before that If we need acceptance in the society we need to start cleansing the community first. Because a 19 year old guy is scared about his sexuality, he is living in fear and we have are plenty of issues to handle.

As Charles Horton said “Our individual lives cannot, generally, be works of art unless the social order is also.”

Written by: Vikki

Boyz at Bay

Written by: Vikki

He’s just not my type

Episode - 1

I was in a hurry, I admit. No matter how hard I try I never been able to be on time for anything in my life. Well, there is nothing wrong in my genes you know and my folks did nothing wrong in bringing me up this way. I just couldn’t do it. Similarly as I am being gay even though I was born for a heterosexual parents and brought up in a conservative family, I just couldn’t help myself from being attracted towards men. Oh yeah, I forgot to say, that I am gay, I am gay and I am so gay…
And it never really bothered me. What really bothers me when I miss the Sunday meetings at the beach? For last 3 years it has become a weekend ritual to meet my friends at our favorite Besant Nagar Beach. One of the main reasons for choosing Elliot’s beach is Men. You can find all types of good looking men passing by while you are busy chatting with your friends on the footpath. Every Sunday evenings we will gather around and discuss things, things that really mattered to us. Only things we talk about are men, fashion, food, love and sex, we are gays after all and we are privileged to gossip . If we don’t talk about men then who else?

When I was almost there, I heard their laugh. There they were the great three whom I love to the core. Ok, let me put things straight first and foremost (I am not straight though, but my thoughts are not bend), the love between we four is something that we cherish, there is nothing chemistry about it. Just because we are gays that doesn’t mean we have to be attracted to every men on earth and especially not those three, isn’t it? And yes you guessed right they are not my type. They are my friends, friends with whom I share everything, who have been my life and there after. They have been with me for everything my happiness, my worries, my troubles, my struggles, my successes, my failures, I really mean, for everything.

Ok, let me introduce my great friends to you. Do you see that guy who is wearing grey pants, light green shirt in formal attire, Fine. Let me give you his ASL. His name is Vijay (well it’s just a nickname), Age: 24, Stats 30waist/5.8ft height/Fair Complexion/Clean Shaven/ Toned body/ Wearing specs/Short hair and he is versatile. Vijay is working for a MNC as a Marketing Executive for a mobile network. Oh, I am sorry that was 5 months before Citi Bank. Recently he joined in an Insurance Company located at Mount Road. That’s Vijay for you never satisfied with onething in his life, he could never stick with anything in his life.

The guy who is wearing a pencil fit jean and a sleeveless tight tees sitting next to Vijay that is Abhi. Fine, I agree that by first sight you thought he is a woman, oh come on he is just little flamboyant that’s all, ok fine he is a lot flamboyant. His flames are all over the place most of the times, his hands gestures are bit girly ofcourse all the times. But she is a man after all. Abhi aka Abhishek is the eldest one in our group, his real age is something that a secret he kept close to his heart. There is nothing possibly existing that he didn’t know in the gay world. Details and whereabouts about every profile in Planet Romeo are on his finger tips. Though he is cynical and can be irritative at times, his passion towards Fashion must be appreciated, he can give you an insight about everything from the dress you are wearing or the compact which suits to your skin or the speciality of the nearby Chinese restaurant. And oh yeah he is a pussy boy in denial.

And finally Sam, he is an aspiring model. He is young, hot and happening in our Chennai Gay world. I know you are now desperate to know his ASL, here we go.

Sam/23/6ft/32waist/70kg/Fair/shaven with a goatee/long hair/gym built/seductive eyes and lips and what not else. And he is TOP, something that is hard to find in Chennai. There is no wonder he is happening now. And above all he is rich, party freak and seriously not into relationships. Sam loves his friends, hates his parents. His dad is a successful businessman who travels abroad frequently and rarely stays at home and his mom like any other upper class woman likes to be in the social circle and pretty much engaged herself in social activities, like Green Peace etc. What we like most about Sam is that he owns this giant called Audi. Sometimes I wonder how many women he would have slept with by now just because of his looks and car if he isn’t really gay. And Sam love to have sex almost every night with boys ofcourse, I wonder where he gets all those twinks probably from Yahoo Chat Room no.9

And about me, I came from a small town somewhere nearby Coimbatore which I never admitted to my friends. I am a software engineering graduate with a first class and got my placement at TCS through campus. I came to Chennai 2 years before and rented an apartment nearby Tidel park which is my workplace. Something that I am proud of is love for art. I like paintings, music, books anything which can come under that category. I admit I am an addict to romantic movies, henceforth I am one of those boys who love to fall in love madly. Hence I am waiting for my Prince Charming for a very long time.

Lets get back to the scene, Abhi as usual greeted me with his popular hand gesture to clear his hair falling over his forehead.

Abhi asked me, “Hi Rahul, so what delayed you today? Did your Prince Charming came to Tidel Park entrance riding a horse to take you out for a coffee?” (I told you the bitch is very cynical)

And once again I forgot to introduce my name to you. This is Rahul (what else it could be?)

“Oh come on Abhi, We all know that Mr.Prince Charming never going to come in my life to sweep my heart” I said calmly

Abhi asked me again “So what happened to that hot_majnu you were chatting with in the past few weeks?” (well, we generally refer other people by their Planet Romeo profile names)

Suddenly all of them Vijay, Sam, Abhi were looking at me anxiously waiting for my reply

“he is not my type” I replied

Abhi who must be really enjoying this moment was putting up an act as if he suddenly feels sorry for me

Abhi said “I told you, he is not your type, he is nobody’s type, sometime back, he was hitting on me big time, but I said big NO to him. Infact I had to block him from sending me messages” (and when he said that we all know that it is a big fucking lie, but nobody wanted to hurt him, so we just ignored what he said.

To change the topic I have asked Vijay “So did you go to Redbull’s place last night?”
Vijay said as usual with his sarcastic tone “Oh yeah, I did and it turned out to be Mr.Redbull is just a Redcow in the end”

We all laughed then

But it made me think for a while about the so-called ‘types’. Does type really exist? Why is that ‘Type’ so important in Gay world, unlike the heterosexual world?
It is understandable among heterosexual men they are not really bothered about opting only for their type of women and vice versa. Especially in a country like India it is difficult to sleep with their opposite sex before marriage and they rarely find opportunities to do so. So the heterosexual men go for whatever which comes in their way, even if they didn’t get any women, they are not even bothered to sleep with men these days. This is not the same case in the Gay world, where they have plenty of opportunities. Can you believe that there are nearly 5000 men profiles in Planet Romeo in Chennai alone? So here comes the types Twinks, hunks, gym built, bear etc and then there is this huge tug of war to get one. A guy like me who cannot really categorize into any will be finding hard to find someone of my type.

So lets deal with it. I am into hunk guys who are between 22 to 26 and I wanted them to be versatile in bed

Sam likes twinks especially teenagers and even if they are top, he will easily convert them into brand nelly bottoms in one night

Vijay is into dark manly men since he is not sure of his sexual preferences, he almost go for anyone he gets

And Abhi is very typical he likes men who are tall, toned and fairer in complexion and we had no idea what he prefers in bed

Oops, thinking about types really made me go crazy for a while.

Of all this time Sam was keeping quiet and suddenly he said

“Ok, come on Cow-boys we need some grass to chew, I am starving, any suggestion for a good restaurant nearby”

Abhi said “A good restaurant in Besant Nagar? None. Probably we can find one if we go to the other end of the shore”

Sam asked “So what to do now? Hit the same old Corner House again?”

Abhi replied him “Not really, I heard there is this new restaurant open next to Corner House is pretty good. People said it’s so gay, so can we go and check in?”

We all hurried to that new restaurant by Sam’s Audi in few minutes, I must say Sam is terrific behind the wheels, though Abhi never really admitted it.

Few months back Sam brought someone to one of our Sunday meetings.

He is a 18 year old boy, who looked like he came out of the kindergarden fresh. But he was strikingly cute and adorable. His profile is sweet_twinkie. He’s a spoiled rich kid who knows nothing about the electricity bill that his dad is paying every month neither about minister of Electricity, all he knew about his latest video game and his Facebook friends list. Unfortunately he met Sam through FB ofcourse, the easily available social networking site to find teen gays.

The boy was totally confused about his sexuality neither his preferences. And the moment he saw Abhi he was totally lost then.

Few days before Sam brought sweet_twinkie to Bessi, Abhi challenged Sam to find a twink who can be his short term boyfriend atleast for a period of 3 weeks. The Great Challenge project came from Abhi’s honey tweeted tongue when we were in the middle of an argument about ‘Types like twinks can be a best bet as a boyfriend material’. As usual Abhi couldn’t acknowledg it. He thought twinks are the most confused souls in the gay world and they cannot even sustain a relationship for more than 2 weeks. So the Great Challenge project was taken over by Sam just to prove Abhi was wrong, even though Sam never wanted to be in a relationship.

The boy seems to be so much in love with Sam, he was infact madly in love. You cant complaint sweet_twinkie someone like Sam who can sweep your heart with his charming looks and precious gifts, well you have to be a trained professional in Love-Defense Academy not to fall in love with him.

Few days later Sam called me over the phone when I was busy using my office chatting facility to find out if my next floor hot colleque whom I met in the cafeteria on the other day is free to booze with me that weekend.

Sam’s manly husky voice was literally shouting in the phone line “Listen, I have a problem. Sweet_twinkie is giving me a headache for past 2 days” (oh yes, we all have problems)

I was half listening what he was saying then “Why? What happened?”

Sam “He wanted to introduce me to his parents as his boyfriend tomorrow, but I cant tell him that I am not really in love with him and this is just a bet”

I was keeping one eye on my computer screen waiting for a response from the hot guy next floor, still I haven’t got any green signal from him.

“I thought you liked him too” I said innocently

Sam’s husky voice again “oh yeah I liked him, in bed…Oh come on dude, you know me very well, I don’t fit in, definitely not for relationships….”

I was positively confused then, the hot guy next floor was typing so slow possibly one letter every minute and I was still waiting for his go ahead. I was damn sure if I take the hot guy for a booze at my place it would undeniably give me a chance to check how hot he can be without clothes.

I had no idea what Sam was babbling about in the phone line. My mind was in disarray.
Sam had to ask me twice if I am really listening to him and then I replied Sam “Bravo dude, this is not about your relationship thing, this is all about The Great Challenge…its just 3 weeks and you have almost crossed 3 days now. And I think sweet_twinkie is really a cutie, you can ofcourse fuck him every night for another 18 nights…so what’s wrong?”

From the chat box, I noticed the next floor hot guy deleted everything he was typing to send me and he started typing again something new. Oh my god, now I have to wait for another few painful minutes all because of this Stupid Sam

Sam said “Nothing is wrong and nothing is right. He is just not my type”

And then the next floor hot guy went offline for the entire day on Friday.

Coming back to the restaurant, it is ofcourse a new one, decorated with a Mandarin theme. Chinese pots, wall hangings, red sashes gave us a Chinese ambience. Since it is new, the tables were pretty much empty except bunch of mallu guys sitting in the corner of the restaurant and a Sardar family which includes 2 bulky kids in wheat ccolor complexion in the other end.

The waiter who must be from Sikkim or Meghalaya came to our table, poured water into our glasses and left. He looked kind of cute must be in his early twenties or in his late thirties (it is difficult to find their age by their physic and faces, they all looked like the same to me)

We were gazing at the mallu guys who were busy chatting
Even after several minutes passed by nobody was on sight to take the order from our table.
Abhi was staring at the mallu guys who was sitting in the corner and said to Vijay “Look at that blue shirt, your type I think”
I wonder why mallu guys are all sexy and if it is anything to do with the coconut oil. There were nearly 6 mallu guys in the gang and almost all of them were hot. feminine lips, shining skin and hot bodies dressed in stylish menswear. The blue shirt guy was dark but he was sexy and manly. If I were a fashion designer I would have chosen him for the next D&G assignment.
Abhi’s predictions never went wrong, No wonder in sweet_twinkie’s case Sam failed.
Vijay said “oh yeah, I would do anything to take him to my place tonite”
I interrupted and said “but you don’t have a place, you need my help for that. And I wouldn’t mind a threesome if it is that blue shirt guy”

Both Sam and me looked at our watch and asked Abhi “What happened to this restaurant people, we have been sitting here for more than 32 minutes now, nobody bothered to take the order?”

Abhi’s tone shown the same irritation and said “yeah, I think they found out that we are gays and trying to insult us. This is total discrimination, so lets move”
Everybody got up except me, I refused to move from the restaurant and anchored myself in the seat “Come on Abhi, nobody can recognize our sexuality here, though they can easily recognize you. And above all I already drank half glass of water and used 2 tissues from the table, so I am not moving out as if I am a criminal” (I was really adamant then)

They all sat back giving me wild look. Just to hide his irritation Sam looked at the mallu guys and added “I wouldn’t mind exchanging my Audi car to that blue shirt guy even if he has poor Nano”

Abhi calmly said “I wouldn’t mind being a versatile for him in bed even if he is a top”

By then we all chuckled, Sam burst into laughter

Once again I lost in thoughts.

Finally waiter came and took the order from us. They served the dinner after another 40 horrifying minutes. The burger they served was cold and the pepsi was warm. We pledged not to return back to that restaurant again in our life.

While I was returning back home I was keep on thinking about the blue shirt and the response from my friends

Vijay, Sam, and even Abhi who generally find errors in everything wouldn’t mind sleeping with someone sexy even though if he is not their type. I guess the ‘Type theory’ is wrong. We are no different than a heterosexual guy when he is so desperate to sleep with any woman, we do the same. Well, on an any given day, if we are so horny and desperate we wouldn’t mind who we were sleeping with whether he is our type or he is somebody’s type or the guy has no face at all, we will just go for it. God forbidden, we wouldn’t mind sleeping with a woman and may even call ourself as a lesbian.

So lets just say, Type is just a hype, created in the myth of the mysterious gay world.

To be continued

Written by: Vikki

My dreams! is it too much asking? ' a letter to Chennai Dost' by Siva

On 2/10/12, siva kumar wrote:

> Hi Vikki,

> This is my recent feeling on a news in the news paper. If it befits your standards I wish YOU to put it on the chennai dost.....

MY DREAMS! IS IT ASKING TOO MUCH?

It was really sickening when I read recently in the news papers that a lecturer was murdered by a person known to him when the lecturer (under influence of liquor)compelled his friend to have gay sex with him. It is not that there are no such acts by a straight person on a lady. There are many such news day in and out. But then when the party affected is a gay then it is "taken for granted" that he deserved such "punishments" and the other party is looked upon as if he was justified in the act of such hideous crime.

Please do not mistake me. i am not for a moment saying that act of forcing sex is not a crime. But the point I am trying to make is that such acts are 'seen' as crime only if there is no indication of gay action. Papers , media are really biased and make it appear that any atrocity against gay people is fair enough. In fact the Indian Express was regularly alloting a page on week ends giving gay news. But I came to know that it was stopped due to some pressure.

I really long for reading good news about gays in newspapers. I long to read news like " Gay men achieve laurels in sports for India' 'Gay men top ranker in University" "Gay man rescues a child" Gay men do service to children/ down trodden"
I sincerely feel that such projections of gay men would give a better blending of gay with the society.The Indian society will begin to see the gays as human beings like them. Why should it always be only Gay parade or some sex issue? I think that nowadays there are lots of guys (gay) who have come out in open. Why not they try for such achievements?

I hope I am justified in my having such dreams? OR Am I asking for too much.?

SIVA


Hi Siva

Nice to see your mail after awhile. I can understand your outburst and the anguish on the below issue.

But to my little understanding on the community and the society which it is connected to it, i have few things to say here...

Since Delhi highcourt repeal in section 377 in 2009, community and activists has been trying to sensitize the media on the gay issues and we have seen plenty of development in that regard. Except few regional language newspaper, we are widely seeing a support and neutral stand on gay issues by the Indian media in general.
But as we have understood media too is commercial and any kind of sensitive news is a news for them...so we cannot avoid such news been published by the media. But media coverage on out and open gay men about their achievements and activities has been ongoing. And i have seen several media approaching Chennai Dost and many other groups for interviews which showcasing our community in good light. But we have to accept the fact that there are few out and open gay men who are willing to share their experience in newspaper about their success. This does not mean gay men have no success and achievements in their life. They just fear to come out in public, which is understandable in a conservative society.

Since from British rule, gay men has been portrayed as a child molestar, rapist and sex maniac infact they have created section 377 to project us in a bad light to the society. though since from independence we have seen only few cases been registered under this section.

Child abuse and Rape cases has been higher and increasing day-by-day among hetrosexuals in India. If there are any few incidents on sexual assualt by gay men which is due to suppressing their sexuality by our society.

Overall the society needed to change its outlook on gay men, if it is done most of the issues can be solved, but this cannot be done by reading lesser number of rape cases or sexual assaults by gay men in the media. This can be only achieved if the society provide a space to the gay men to live free, legalising homosexuality and consider their love as normal and natural. As we have been stressing the fact sexual identity, coming out and financial independence is very important for gay men to make these changes in the society. To make these changes and gay men to be out and proud, the society needed to provide them a free space and understanding. A space where they can live without fear and shame.

But to begin with we need a free world and legal rights to live...I hope your dreams will become true oneday…We hope for a change, hope for a better world to live…
Cheers
Vikki