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Friday, January 23, 2009

'Mom, Im Gay'

Like all those great leaders Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Nehru, Mahatma Gandhi and ofcourse Barack Obama, I have dreams too. One day our next generation can proudly let their parents know that they are Gays . One day we can fill up a government application stating that my sexuality is Gay (with no spelling mistake). One day we can walk into the streets of Chennai holding our boyfriend's hand (note: singular, not plural). Well, Dreams are unlimited.

Most of the gays i have met in Chennai were confused about their role in bed. Here is some examples of how much they are confused (in dialoque format)

Me: So are you top or bottom ?
Gay1 : i dont know
Me: Ok, Let me ask you this way, whats your likes ?
Gay1 : i like to play chess and video games. I like comics too, i have a collection of more than 60 comic books at home. I like to watch football, you know Man-U is my favourite team, Do you like football ? i have this secret crush on Christiano Ronaldo (the guy went on like this and spoke to me about his likes for 6 minutes non-stop)

Gay2: Im a top
Me: Sorry yaar im a top too
Gay2: Vow, thats great man, so do you have place?
Me: Dude, im not a bottom
Gay2: Yes i know , i like to have sex with tops like you

Me: So are you top or bottom?
Gay3 : Im a bottom, Are you a top
Me: yes i am , so when can we meet?
Gay3 : Saturday evening im free
(then we went on like this and exchanged numbers, the guy came to my place on saturday. After all the mutual introduction i took him to my bed. And started kissing and smooching him. I gave him the rimming of his life and prepared him for the anal inter-course. I took my briefs off and opened a condom pack. When i have started wearing the condom on my torso. He stopped me and asked me)
Gay3: What are you doing?
Me : Iam wearing a condom on my cock, why, you dont like condoms?
Gay3: No, i like it. but, Aint im the one who is supposed to wear it?
Me : What ? You ? i thought you want me to fuck you?
Gay3: No, i want to fuck you first, so wear the condom on my cock
Me: Fuck off (As i still had the erection, i went to the rest room to jerk off)

How far you can go ahead and irritate a guy?. Here is one best example,Recently, i had chat with a guy whom i know for a while in g4m. He asked me whether i know my ex-boyfriend. I was reluctant to tell him that i know my ex-bf (since i dont want to hear about him). Obviously Arjun would have told this guy about me. So i was feeling some kind of fishing. I told this guy that iam least interested to know about Arjun and he doesnt exist in my life anymore. The guy was really excited by this response from me and kept on talking about Arjun's sexy looks (he even described me about his cock and ass features). The guy even asked me why i never fucked Arjun even though iam a top. I replied him that i didnt want to have anal intercourse with my ex-bf since i felt he is too young to go for one (well, i just had one opportunity to have sex with him and i ran out of rubbers and lubricants that day). The guy proudly announced me that he fucked my ex-bf three times on the same day without leaving his asshole (hope he used a condom) and seems to be Arjun loved it (who supposed to be the only love of my life). The guy asked for my contact number (Obviously he wanted to fuck me too). Well, i told him that i dont use cellphones and im allergic to rubbers.

One of my distant cousin who is doing his second year engineering in bangalore is a gay. Infact i had sex with him several times. As of now he atleast had 5 to 6 boyfriends in a very short term of period. Everytime he finds a boyfriend he will call me and tell me how much he loves this new guy and how adorable the guy is. And at the time of break-ups he will tell me the differences and dislikes they both had. Sometimes it is hard for me to understand the meaning of Love. I guess there is no univeral definition to it. It mostly depends upon the individual perceptions.

So coming back to the topic, "Mom, Im Gay". Why do we have to tell our parents about our sexuality? .I guess it is better we dont tell them and because as of now it will be hard for them to understand. But if they somehow learnt about you than we should not hide the truth. Vice versa to wives and life partners(well, thats my perception, dont blame me)

Coming up next: Short story written by me titled "Pigs and Dicks"

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Beauty lies beneath the heart

Someone said if you want friends and enemies write a blog. Well, guess i did that exactly. Pouring comments and calls about my self advertisement in some of the articles (im not doing it intently) from friends. I would like to leave a blank for explanation and let them think whatever. Criticism comes through popularism (dont ask me who said that). But i have decided to let you guys know about the another face of mine (make sure your Cardiologist is sitting right behind you, hope he is not a gay top).

1. Iam not a hottie (if you mean hottie = fair + tall + gym tone + attitude + red lips)
2. I never went for dating , not atleast one guy from g4m
3. I received " Not interested" message 100 times more than "interested" message
4. If im the hottest, my ex-boyfriend would have never broken up with me.
5. Some of my friends told me "im an evil" after i let them know that im gay.
6. In g4m forums especially threads like "do u like to date the guy above" or "Do u think the guy above u is hot or cute" , guys next to me always jump on to the next guy by not considering me.
7. My stats (it will not be impressive) and im dark (being dark has been considered as ugly in gay world, but i never did)

Anyone in the streets can tell you their personal definition of beauty: who they think is beautiful and who isn’t. And the surprising thing is that despite the common saying that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, people will come to roughly the same conclusions of what is beauty. Suffice to say, there are common definitions to what the definition of beauty is, which is much determined by society as a form of survival of the fittest.

In a recent paper entitled "What is beauty anyway?" came to the following conclusions: when asked what is beauty, would say boils down to two characteristics: 1. Happy. 2. Healthy. Notice in the characteristics’ description; perhaps they fall somewhere in the healthy category! Is this answer to "What is beauty" too simplistic? Let’s take a close look. There is more to the definition of beauty than meets the eye.

Here you go, Why i think im a hottie? no one born beautiful, they have been made of or grown of.
- I know how to carry myself
- I know the differences of my weakness and strengths
- I know what dress suits my physic
- I have practised to carry a style of my own
- I know how to present myself to the public
- Above all, Im not worried what you think about me, because im self confident.

Note: Just like the bloggist, criticist also have some responsibilities to motivate, encourage and let the blogger not deviate from the vision. But the comments should have some depth knowledge about the article or understanding of the blogger's expression. Mr.Anonymous lacked both. He just took one sentence and wrote his comments. May God forgive his sins...

P.S : I will be more careful in my coming up articles about self advertisement. Thanks (for my pics check my profile in g4m , id is vp2 ... for ur reference, Anonymous)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Make a Fashion statement

Last Newyear my dad wanted me to go for shopping with him. I was bit surprised when my dad let me select the dresses for him. I bought him two faded jeans and a t-shirt which looked totally cool. My dad also bought sunglasses which he never had one. Well, i thought my dad wants to look young(infact he looks like my elder brother with those outfits)

Thick moushtache, oily hairstyle, ironed shirts and trousers, chappels etc...They have all gone now. Everyone wants to make a fashion statement these days. Globalization has played its part. Now our outfit has become more trendy and fashionable. Metrosexuality brought pierced rings, tattoos and wrist bands. Iam not sure whether it is good or bad, but i would rather say "Start eating snake in the snake-eating world" (it is an old tulu proverb, my dad used to say all the time).

I pierced my ear and wore an ear ring when i have joined my PUC. My parents were pretty cool about it. When one of my teacher who was also my mom's friend complained about the pierced ring, my mom totally stood on my side. Some of my friends even tells me that my parents are pretty cool and my life is much easier because of them. To be honest they are always just like the way the other parents are, the only difference is i talk to them and let them know about my world, which most of us dont. The moment we turn into 18 we seperate ourself from our parents and let them complaint about everything we does. Please dont...Just tell them their days are gone and you are living in a different world now.

Most of my shopping will be in bangalore but occasionally i do buy some in chennai.Here is some of the shops where i do shopping...

Dollars and Pounds, adyar If you guys are looking for Cargos, i would recommend this shop, they have some good collection here and then you can look for ornaments, wrist bands, caps etc

Crack and Crazy, spencers Mountroad: One of the main reason i go to this shop because of the guy. The owner of this shop is a 22 year old muslim guy Zahid, who looks hot (something about him makes feel that he is gay). If you guys are interested in causal shirts and t-shirts this shop is a heaven. They even have some designer wears and stuff like that. And then Zahid's personal touch, his personal and physical touches are popular and mind blowing (i have his contact number too).

Cool Club, Adyar: It is a jeans world. The collections are pretty cool and also very cost effective, especially for crushed jeans and faded ones. I will not recommend this shop for any other.

Sometimes it sucks when i see a good looking guy who doesnt know what to wear. Stop copying your favourite actors on screen...Knitwears, sweat shirts, jumpers, Jackets, hoodies, Cardigans, Inserts, long sleeves, shirt sleeves and printed t-shirts have become the latest trends these days. Dont have goaties or moush or beards unless untill if you find something cool is missing on your face. Try to wear casuals and comforts rather than looking like all dressed up. There is nothing wrong being influenced by other guy's style but make sure you have your own statement added to it. Dont ever wear anything which makes you look old. Wear dresses which enlighten your looks. There is nothing holy in being simple or wearing dresses which are out of the planet.

Note: Guys, dont try too hard on Zahid, rememeber i never told you he is gay.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Queer Eye for a Straight Guy

Do you believe in Gay perception or Gay lifestyle ? There is this program called "Queer Eye for a Straight guy" in Travel&Living(India) TV Channel. There will be 4 or 5 queer guys who are professional designers will visit Straight guys living place and try to modify their lifestyle with a queer touch (what they call it as Trendy and Cute). The idea seems to be an interesting one and the programme was very successful in UK. It seems programs or article with a queer point of view has become a hit these days. Even Indian medio started doing it.

Last evening i was in Elliott's beach with my friend Roz to watch Chennai Sangamam. I dont know who initiated this event, but whoever did this must be really appreciated. It seems the festival mood has gone down in India especially in southern states. Events like this will bring more light and joy to the city. People have taken their life very seriously. Less fun and more family responsibilities has become the latest trend. But life is not all about money and love. There is this thing called fun and joy. We are not living in caves anymore to run our life like a caged animal. So there is nothing wrong in partying every week or going out with friends and feel young.

Coming back to the point, in the beach as usual we saw plenty of hot guys staring at me and Roz. We were not really surprised by it since it is very common in chennai, even if those guys are straight. I spoke to Arun about the stares of straight guys and asked me why they are doing it (i was trying to get a straight's perception). He said every guy will get excitement by being noticed either it is men or women. They like to watch guys to find out if they are being noticed especially for their dresses and other styles. But, well i guess there is something more than that. Recently i read an article in Times of India about the research in human evolution. It stated that more men are turning out to be gays these days and even a straight guy has got some percentage of homosexuality because of the human evolution. Some of my other straight friends told me that there is nothing wrong in appreciating another guys looks or his styles. Believe me guys, its a gay world out there.

Most of the straight guys seems to have little knowledge about Gay. They think being gay is all about behaving like a girl or getting fucked in his ass. These are the two reasons most of the straight guys are scared of gay. So before letting your straight friends to know about your sexuality, try to explain them about the sexuality first. Most of my straight friends are now comfortable and pretty open about Gayness. Even some of my curious straight friends are ready to have some sexual experiences with another guy just for an adventure.

There is plenty of difference between being gay and living like gay. Iam not sure finding a long term gay partner and living togather is easier in India. So we should not be confused about it and spoil our life. There is nothing wrong about being gay, but living like gay may not be right decision at the moment. There is nothing wrong in marrying a girl, having kids and still being gay,if you can handle it. But make sure you provide the love and care for them. It is not mandatory that she should be knowing about your sexuality, unless untill if u find her pretty cool about Gay thing.

Last night before sleep i was thinking about my life and future. And trying to re-arrange my life. I started doing a counting of my sexual encounters and experiences. Guys, i need a standing ovation from you all. I have crossed more than 400 times of sexual experiences and had sex with more than 100 guys as of now. Atleast half of them are ended up in tragedy. Of all this 100 guys i really liked very few(may be 5 or 10) and enjoyed very few moments. Thinking about it i felt a bit ashamed. Well, thank god atleast i have decided to quit one night stands now. I have decided to date few guys this year and meet them in a public place. I will not take anyone to my place unless i find them interesting and hard to resist for sex. Nomore Aunt pity fucks or desperate sex.

Note: Well, im turning 25 years old tonight at 12pm. I have decided to celebrate my birthday bit differently this time and already arranged to date a hot guy tomorrow evening (NO sex). I will let you know about it shortly.

Coming up next: Fashion and Trends (exclusive for Chennai Gays)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

My first experience

Last night Ar asked me about my first sexual experience( he is my best friend and he is a straight guy). We have been friends for years now, worked togather and shared the same room a year before. He is pretty cool and comfortable about me being gay. And surprisingly, i never made a move on him neither i am desperate to do so. We both are pretty comfortable in talking about gay issues and sex, though there might be some kind of chemistry in between us, but i know that even if there any physical contact accidently that would be the end of our comfort, genuine likes and respect we both had for each other.

Some of them asked me about my first sexual experience. I shared it when i was in few parties (i was in the hot seat then, have no other choice then telling them). Well, everybody remembers their first experience, first love or first date etc...i guess it will be always in your memory and comparing it with the present one, to me iam not an exceptional.

Shockingly, my first sexual experience was not with a guy, it was with a girl. I was in the beginning of my pubescent age and was so curious about sex. Though she was pretty older than me but i had that infatuation towards her, she was in my dancing class. We both used an opportunity of our loneliness and had a safe sex (well, i always carry a rubber in my wallet...till now). She must be one of the cutest girl in class and she liked me too. Well, the next day i quit my dancing class, because i learned what i wanted to know for life...the SEX.

I never had this physical attraction towards a guy till i had my first sexual experience (somewhat) with a guy. We went to a tour in a bus when i was doing my school. This guy who was my senior (2 years more than me) was sitting next to me in the bus, a Delhiite and one of the best athlete in our school. He was tall with broad shoulders and had cute brown eyes. He was sitting next to me in the bus, he offered me his blanket to share. The moment i got into his blanket he kissed my lips. I was trembling and had no clue what to do, but i liked it. Suddenly the feeling of sharing masculine or the touch and warmth of another guy gave me a new excitement. And then he was touching me all over and asking me to do the same. We both jerked off each other and cleaned ourself using a towel ( i thrown it later). But it was not a total sexual experience for me. I was then waiting for the right guy to do so.

It happened 2 years later at the time of my first year in College. I was 17 years old then and turning out to be a good looking teenager from an average shy kid. My continues work out in gym, expenses i have spent on saloons and also my expensive wardrobe was paying tribute to my new looks and style. There was this youth convention arranged by YMCA in Kodaikkanal, a hill station in Southern Tamilnadu. The convention includes trekking and games participated by representatives from five star ranked Arts and Science colleges in India. Guys from mumbai. delhi, hyderabad, pune, jaipur, bangalore, chennai, kolkata and hyderabad were present for the trekking with nearly 120 guys. Since it was a YMCA convention representatives are all men i mean guys.

The three day convention was really entertaining and hell of an experience for me which i could never forget in my life, especially the sex i had with a guy in the hills. After 7 hours of long trekking we reached the resort in Kodaikkanal at night, we were tired and our legs are aching with pain. We all slept in our respective rooms. I woke up in the morning at 5am and i saw the mist passing by the windows i thought of going for a smoke outside. I took my cigarratte pack and came outside. There i saw this tall guy with long hairs and ofcourse he was one of the sexiest guy i have ever seen standing there in his blue jeans, t-shirt and a jacket looking at me. The moment i lit my cigaratte he approached me and asked me if i could share one with him. I gave him one and introduced myself to him. He was now staring at me, i wondered why he was keep on looking at my eyes and lips. He asked if i would like to take a walk with him and i did.

After half a kilometer there was this rock surrounded by bushes and small trees and we approached it, we just leaned onto the rock and enjoying our cigarattes. His name is Shahid and he came from Mumbai and he told me that he thinks bangalore guys are pretty cool. Well i was cool too but now the cold just erupted through my body and gave my spine an itch and i was trembling of cold breeze. He looked at me and gave me a warm smile and asked me if i have a girlfriend back home. I told him "No". Well the moment i replied him, he came closer and kissed my lips. It was a long kiss, a kiss of desire. The kiss was nearly for 20 mins i could hardly breath then. He told me that he was watching me from the start of the trekking and he liked me (i wonder why). Shahid said he was fallen in love with me (hard to believe though). Believe me guys, we had removed our clothes and had sex right behind the rock. It was nearly 6am in the morning, with all the mist surrounding us and the dark. Oh my god, he was fantastic, passionate and had an awesome body. We had sex for nearly 2 hours and we both came atleast twice, i felt exhausted and we lit another pair of cigarattes and went back to the resort. Well, my first real sexual experience which i could never forget and cannot compare with any other may be some exceptional too

Note: Me and Shahid had a short term relationship for more than a year. We had sex on those 3 days at every opportunity we had. After few months he visited bangalore to see me 3 times in the same year, but we never fallen in love each other. He is currently in Sydney as an architect and still look handsome.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Must watch movies and reviews

There was this recent posting in the g4m forum about favourite movies. I posted my list of favourites and i thought it is a good idea to post the same here and give some reviews about it. As i said im crazy for good movies, i hope you guys will find the dvd and watch it.

1. Amelie - This is a french movie about a lonely girl who has some peculiar hobbies. The narrative style and Amelie's adventures of chasing the mysterious young man makes this as my all time favourite movie.

2. Nottinghill - Hollywood movie starring Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. Julia Roberts played the role as a popular hollywood actress and Hugh Grant as an owner of petty travel book shop in the small town Nottinghill, England. The romance between these two makes it interesting and the touch of humour is exciting.

3. Little Miss Sunshine - This is about a family trip, where all the family members are losers in their life on way or other. The family travels to Missisippi to let their 6 year old younger daughter to participate in the Kid's beauty contest. Funny and very touching, involves a gay character in the family.

4. Basketball diaries - Starring Leonardo di Caprio as a young teen guy who becomes a drug addict. Loses his best friend, break-up with his girl friend, thrown out of his house and ended up becoming a gay prostitute to buy drugs. Some gay scenes involved in it though Leornardo looks stunningly young and handsome in this movie. And his excellent performance as a struggling teenager won several awards for this film. This is a true story of a famous basketball player.

5. Black Irish - This is about an irish teenager who wants to become a baseball player, but struggles because of the problems in his family. His elder brother is a drug addict, sister becomes pregnant, his unemployed father dying of cancer and his consevative mother with a failed marriage. The movie shows how a teenager keeps up his ambition and moral in his life through all the tragedies.

6. 50 First Dates - A funny but a touching romantic movie starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.

Hot food and Hot guys

Good food, Nice dress, beautiful home and hot sex are four basic needs of every human on earth. Everyone in this world are running, working and living for these four. If any of you dont understand it or says its all bullshit, well then you can kiss my ass...What i dont understand is that we Indians, one of the oldest civilization in this world are neglecting this truth and believe in things which doesnt exist (forgive me God for my

Last Saturday i went to meet Jagan at Elliots beach (besant nagar, which is ofcourse of one of my favourite, you can see me on most of the saturdays here). As usual the beach was crowded with hot guys and gals. Everytime i visit this beach it surprises me with the beauty and warm feelings which brings my heart. The hot looking guys who wander around with their jeans and shirts, goaties and piercings, its hard to take your eyes out of them. Whenever i walk down the footpath i always have a feeling of every guy staring at me. Suddenly the world turned out to be a gay world everytime there. I wonder is that because whether these guys are gays and i suddenly become a hot guy to their eyes or because though they are straight they just stare at you because they have nothing to do. Iam clueless again. Me and Jagan went to the nearby restaurant which is just opposite to the Dhaba Express. The restaurant was petty but looked neat and the hot guys. Left side of my table there were a group of hot Mallu guys, probably in their early 20's sitting and chatting. I found 3 guys who are extremely hot and also glancing at me once in a while. On the right side of my table there were two guys, probably friends sitting and staring at their food, but not eating. Jagan told me one of the guy is from g4m, whom i couldnt recognize, the other guy was quite interesting and i found him staring at me and he looked cute. Jagan shown me the guy's g4m profile on his Mobile, Rhett. I have been in this restaurant few times before and the food is not really bad (make sure you order for the right ones or else you will ended up with a cold food).

Last monday i went to one of my favourite restaurant in Adyar (nearby Indiranagar watertank, it is a Rajasthani restaurant and famous for Aalu and Paneer Parotthas (im not sure if the spelling is right).Lot of North Indian guys will come to this place for dinner,so everytime i find atleast 3 or 4 hot guys...There is this internet cafe next to the restaurant and i saw a guy standing infront of the Cafe. He must be in his early twenties and really really cute, must be a college student. I caught him staring at me the moment i got down from my bike. I even noticed when he was looking at my jeans searching for the bulge. I thought i should show some manners, so i just stood their staring back at him. He is slim with a curly long hair and above all seductive lips. Now he was smiling at me, trying to find a way to start a conversation, this might be something new to him because he was nervous and may be he thought there is something hot about me, iam clueless again. I went inside the restaurant and ordered for parottas. He came inside and sat next to my table. I was waiting how far he could go and when he will make his moves. But he was so young and inexperienced and have no idea about how to move ahead. I finished my food and decided to give him my phone number, then i thought about my recent decision about one-nite stands, i pulled myself back and left the restaurant right away.

Yesterday i came back home after my long hard working in the office, Shishir called me. Shishir is my colleque and junior in my team. He is a mallu and extremely cute. It is hard to resist his boyish looks, curly hair and gym fit physic. He wanted to discuss something personal and asked me to come at Marry Brown (Adyar). Marry Brown is one of my very few favourite restaurant in Chennai. I go nuts for cheese burgers and chicken pc's and above all i like the place. You can visibly see the road from the glass window and have your burgers inside. And there is these 2 cute waiter boys with their tight jeans and t-shirts, serving you with a inviting smile. I find reasons to visit Marry Brown everytime. I had this doubt for a very long time whether Shishir is a gay too, but i was not sure. There is this famous joke that a Gay always thinks that his pet dog is also a gay. Shishir had some problems in taking a decision for his higher studies and asked for my opinion. Most of my friends think highly of me even though iam quite younger than them they always come to me for ideas and opinions. I was seriously talking about doing higher studies in UK or Australia when i noticed Shishir staring at a guy who is sitting behind our table. I was so disturbed and i asked Shishir why he was staring at the guy, Shishir was suddenly annoyed or embarassed and try to find out reasons for staring at the guy. And suddenly he tried to change the topic by inviting me for a drink on friday. Now then i know that he is a gay, i started to remember some of the other things that he did in the past which helped me to find out his sexuality. I guess he thinks im straight and trying to take me into drinks and then seduce me. There is this saying that its just four pegs away for having sex with a straight guy and i guess he is well aware of that. I thought it doesnt even need a drink for him to take me into bed, just a word is enough...

Note: Let me keep it as a surprise for you guys for the next segment and i will let you know what happened between me and shishir, friday is just 2 days to go...

Monday, January 5, 2009

Man proposes, God disposes

At 4 AM this morning, suddenly i woke up from my bed felt like drinking some water. I had this wild dream being chased by group of men who were wearing black coloured face masks and long gowns, i could see the fire blaze behind their heads and then those white bubbles all around me getting bigger by size every second. Normally, iam not a good fan of watching thrillers, i'd rather go for comedies and melodies. So this thriller dream woke me up in the early morning and then i heard the 'Gayathri Manthra' from the temple infront of my flat. Something struck in my throat and my brain has gone dead. I felt my heart pulse getting into normal beat and i saw the guy sleeping next to me in my bed. He was in his deep sleep, looked so careless, i guess if i wake him up now obviously he would not have any idea where he was sleeping. He was my last nite 'one-nite stand' and i didnt even really remember his name. He must be in his early 20's and obviously he would not even remember my name by now. I saw the morning light glimpse through my bedroom windows and the cold chill came out of my air conditioner. Suddenly things were very clear now and my last nite memories returning back to my mind, it all started coming back.

Arjun broke up with me last night and i may never see his cute face again or hear his sweet voice, i really dont want to. Though it hurts when you realize that your only love of your life or last hope to live is gone, the energy and the character that i built all these years reminds me i still have long way to go and there are plenty of ups and downs awaiting down the corner. It was such a bad decision that i took trying to bet on a running horse which is new in the race, but i was pretty careful then by discussing all my fears and doubts and still ended up loosing. He was never sure of living in a committed relationship neither he was sure of his sexuality. When i asked him about it even in the beginning it was just a blind love or some kind of curiosity that made him promise me that he was sure of these two. But now he comes into terms that it is not easy to live up to the task. I could easily excuse him because he is just turned 19 and i am more matured and elder than him. When i heard the same kind of story from some of my friends i laughed at them for being stupid, but now i am the same stupid and ended up playing back an old story. I guess no matter how smart you are or how careful you are, you are just a human and there is one more guy(i mean god) who is sitting on top of you playing a director's role. Love is blind and God is great...

Well, here i am 24 years old turning 25 in few days, living single and staying alone in a city which is alien to me, almost given up my one-nite stands, failed to convince or not able to move ahead with a boy who is 6 years younger than me. Where did i went wrong ? of all the love proposals and still so many hot guys in town, why did i choose him ? is 'Love' word doesnt really work in the gay world ?...i may never have answers to these questions in my life, but there is a word called 'Hope' , that keeps every human alive and running. We just hope that the sun will rise next day and we will be still alive.

Note: i have taken some hard decisions this morning like taking a break away from g4m and friends, changing my phone number, disconnecting from few friends who dont deserve to be, giving up my one nite stands, shifting back to bangalore, focussing on my job and trying to write a book, but i will continue to write here...Well, lets see...ofcourse Man proposes but god disposes...

Friday, January 2, 2009

Smile pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee....

After all the new year celebrations and party hang-overs, the time has come to return back to the normal life. I must say this new year begun with plenty of hopes and excitements. The Planning schedule is on, the resolution list has been read and the time has come to put all this in place and act.

As i have promised earlier, guess i have started this new year on the right track. I have initiated a group or community for all our gay friends, i must thank you all for giving me this confidence to start this group. We have decided to meet on sundays at Elliott beach and hold discussions. Iam seriously thinking about starting a Gay magazine with no adult contents. But i know that it needs plenty of funds, support and efforts. This magazine includes stuffs like gay lifestyle, interviews, news, trends, information about parties and events etc. I think i need to start this from scratch like taking a survey of number of gays in the city and their details etc. I need group of friends who can help me on this not just providing me moral support but for actively helpming me...

There are very few gay magazines in India like the one from Humsafar trust. Let me think about it seriously to come up with an online magazine atleast if not in hard copies.

Coming back to the topic, Indians are well known for their hospitality especially south indians. But as days passed by we have lost it somewhere in the middle due to busy work, personal life pressures etc. I thinks its time to get back into one of our qualities. When i walk on the road or attending a party or meeting people at beach ...i can see people staring at me, with a look that gives you fear or as if i came from another planet...Come on guys, after all we are gays atleast lets be more friendly to everyone. Lets smile at everyone and stop worrying about what they will think about us. Lets say Hi to everyone and try to start a conversation who is standing next. we are not animals in the zoo, we are more civilized, we are socialized. Lets be friendly to everyone, lets say Hi to everyone...Lets Smile at everyone atleast....

So Keep smiling....

Note: There is a world of difference between smiling and laughing. Dont laugh unnecessarily people may think differently then. And please dont giggle that is not for guys...