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Monday, August 31, 2009

Are we ready to fall in love?

I was walking alone in the footpath of Elliotts’ beach (Besant nagar). Dark clouds were threatening everybody to go home. Breezes were even friendlier blowing from all directions. Crowd was cheerful, kids were all over the place, and they were all so beautiful. I was not sure if I am allowed to be there and qualified to walk infront of them. My jean was fading even more by their glares. Then I saw them. Two cute guys hands around each other’s hips with mischievious looks. Somehow I had a feeling that they might be a gay couple. I followed them.

Generally I have this habit of investigating things to make sure of my guesses. You can’t blame me for it, blame all those Jamesbond’s movies I have seen over the years. The two cute guys were playing against each other, one was even complaining about the other guy’s hairy chest. Suddenly one of the cute guys received a phone call and talking over the phone for a period of time. I can see the possessiveness and impatience in the eyes of the other one. It was love, the holy thing I have missed over the years. I was jumping in joy like Einstein for discovering their secret.

How can you choose a right partner?
Do we have to go with “my type” for love?
Why do we fall in love?
What is that we are looking for as gay?

The more and more we look for perfect bodies and cute faces; do we tend to ignore the real love?

I was watching ‘Shelter’ for the third time along with the crowd in the ChennaiDost movie screening. The boy in the movie had a girlfriend but after sleeping with a guy identifies himself as gay and fallen in love with the guy. Though the boy seems to be taken a right decision in the end to live with the guy, but is he taken the decision for the comfortability or he really loved him? I had no answer. The screening room was more silent than my brain.

Last night I received an anonymous message saying he wanted to be in a relationship with me. I was clueless. I had no idea whether the anonymous sender is a guy or a girl, my type or not my type, teenager or an uncle. And I am not used to ask for ‘a/s/l’, so I have called him. Finally the call ended up after the inquiry of my cock size. I have noted down in my Google calender to buy a measurement tape.

Do we really think buying a measurement tape will help us to fall in love with someone or find a relationsip. Recently one of the readers sent me a mail; he wanted me to help him find a partner. I have no idea if he is looking for a sex partner or a life partner. But is there any possibility that I can really help him find his partner when I am struggling to find one for myself. Even if I helped him, Will it last long?

I have already heard about some horror break-ups and love failures among my gay friends. Is there any real measurement, which we can do before getting into a relationship or falling in love with someone. Sooner there are going to be talks about legalizing Gay marriages. But are we ready for a relationship with a guy just like our mom and dad.

One of my friends used to date with 3 or 4 guys in a week. I guess he met all type of guys starting from twinks to bears. And he used to tell me he yet to find his dream boy. Though I knew most of his dating ended up in mating, I never criticized it. May be he is trying to measure his date for a relationship through sex.

My female friend jokes about homosexual guys having more sex than the hetrosexual guys in Chennai. I guess its true. Sex has become cheaper than love these days, which can be easily sold in the yahoo chat room market. But finding a love through Internet may not be possible for homosexuals. Here most of us ask for ‘stats’ even before asking for his name.

Are love and relationship social norms of heterosexuality but not for homosexuals?
Is there any relationship between love and sex?
Why are we always meeting someone in bed?
Why are we not used to hang out just like hetrosexual lovers?

The Internet environment might have influenced us to be only in a sex environment and erased the love out of our life.But if a safe and healthy environment had been provided, Are we ready to fall in love?

Written by; Vikki


  1. hai vikki,i am already hang out my homosexual lover like hetrosexual,he like relationship me with my love,not only for sex,here many gay lovers are have like this ,so answer of your questions are so many homosexuals are already love like hetrosexual lovers.

  2. Hi vikki...i would rate this as the best article ever you have written in this blog....great!

  3. Hi Vikki,
    Many questions and no answers But all in one I think gays also have lovers,break ups etc like hetrosexuals and love does not differentiate between gays and others. In fact the gays go around more often as they still do activities in secrecy and the so called straight guys are open in the relationship. Once a straight announces a partner it will be difficult for him to change partner as the society will question but it is not so with gay friends and they easily change partners in search of real love.

  4. Well here goes something which I read long ago...

    Sex - Men's perception: Men are capable (in gene or whatever) of having a sexual relationship with his partner and is very clear that it has nothing to do with his social life. After the intercourse is done, he is able to easily forget the whole event and come back to his normal life.

    Sex - Women's Perception: Women (again in gene or whatever) first confirms about the security before engaging in sexual activity with her partner. She wont allow herself mentatlly for a just one time fun. Eventhough she engages, women feel guilty for long time to come (there may be some/many exceptions). Dont yell "what about prostitutes?" well when a guy chooses another girl over her, even a prostitute feels very bad about it. This is a study.

    Whats the connection here? So when a girl and guy get into love (hetrosexual pair), eventhough guy seduces by all the ways for a sexual intercourse, the girl denies at most cases (again exceptions). Its not like they are divine. Its what they are. Its the design.

    But, now just think of two guys coming into contact in whatever form (love/sex/date). Now read the first paragraph again. Its men nature to involve in sexual intercourse immediately. If someone denies it, call them a liar. Sexual intercourse is inevitable when two same intention guys come in contact. Dont blither love is divine, love cant be adulterated with sex, etc. Lets accept the reality.

    Where comes gay couple, gay pairs, etc here?
    If you can whole-heartedly embrace your partner in your lap even after an overdose fun session, you got the pass to continue.

    And yes it happened in my case. Two years going study.

    Whatever i discussed here is the sexual life. When it comes to social life like living together, compromising, financial sharing, etc..God save the couples.

  5. Hi Vikki, nice to hear i would like to read some which will help me to improve my english i hope., so could u please mail me